​At our lunch with Birthmom, Craig and I had the opportunity to share the cards that our friends, family, co-workers, and strangers made back at the Burge Family Adoption Fundraiser.  Back in January, folks drew pictures, wrote sweet messages, and included their favorite scripture verses for Baby Burge.  There was so much love and excitement on those cards!  What an opportunity to share with Birthmom how loved this child was before we even knew who he was and what excitement there was that one day he’d be welcomed into the family!

Life’s been wonderfully busy lately.  On March 12, our lives were changed forever when we got the call that we were matched.  And pretty much since that moment, Craig and I have been flying by the seat of our pants!  I’m excited to take this quiet moment though, while the hubby is at work, the pups are napping, and the cat has provided just enough lap space to sit with the laptop, to write.
 
Here’s what we’ve been up to over the last 4 weeks:
 
1.  Paperwork! Lots of it… and. we. still. aren’t. done.  There is definitely a great deal of paperwork in the early stages of adoption with the home study and adoption agency application processes, but we’ve discovered that there is more!  And that’s okay.  This is in a large part due to the fact that we are adopting out of the state of Kentucky in sunny Florida, in fact.  Enter my new friend, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, or ICPC.  This is the law in all 50 states, District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands in which the adoptive parents’ state and the baby’s state work together to make sure that the adoptive parents are approved and fit for the adoption to take place.  Parts of the requirements include submitting our home study and the documents that go with it- over 15 to be exact.  I’ve got one more to go!  Phew.
 
There is also other additional paperwork at this stage, much of it requiring visits to a notary- I believe our last notary visit makes it our fourth so far!  This legal aspect of adoption is so important and if it’s another document or visit to the notary, by golly, Baby Burge is the best reason to do it!
 
2.  Communication!  We’ve had the opportunity to begin building a relationship with our birthmom and it has been a fun, nerve-racking, and very rewarding experience.  On March 18th, we started texting and since then, we’ve had a few opportunities for phone conversations.  My insides were filled to the brim with butterflies with each text!  I warned Craig that I could vomit before our very first phone call with our birthmom.  And I wasn’t joking!  I just wanted everything to go perfectly for her and most of all, not do anything too socially awkward. I know God provided for us during these times by giving us words to speak and calming our nerves, especially mine.  Everything has gone so well and just continues to confirm God’s care for our birthmom and us.   This communication has also been a wonderful way for our birthmom and us to share our excitement for one another and begin creating a wonderful foundation for an ongoing relationship. 
 
3.  Travel!  Over three days, Craig and I drove to Daytona Beach and back... to meet our birthmom.  It was a whirlwind trip, driving more than 1700 miles over a long weekend, but so worth it!  We fought all the Spring Break travelers down 75 South to meet up at Joe’s Crab Shack for lunch.  This meeting reaffirmed how special our birthmom is and helped us understand her heart and how big it is.  We still had driving to do after lunch and needed to leave in the early afternoon, but we could’ve easily stayed and talked for many more hours.   

Officially starting our adoption journey this past summer, I wasn’t sure what to think about birthmothers.  There was a part of me that struggled to understand them.  I had the thought early on that a baby would show up, maybe via stork even, and that was it.  I had forgotten or wanted to ignore a very important and special person in adoption: the birthmother.
 
I have grown so much in my understanding of birthmothers since then that I feel ashamed some times to think about my prior ignorance.  Today, I recognize them as special individuals and respect them for what they’re doing for their child.  My heart also goes out to birthmoms who are often misunderstood and devalued.  There is nothing that quite gets the Hulk in me fired up when I hear negative comments about birthmoms.
 
For me, I just didn’t know about birthmoms.  I was ignorant.  I lacked any awareness about birthmoms.  I was clueless.  And many of the opinions that Craig and I hear weekly demonstrate the same ignorance I was under.