Note: This is a guest post by Beth’s non-writing husband, Craig. For those of you who came in hopes of enjoying another of Beth’s insightful and articulate posts, please do not run away in fear never to return! She’ll be back next time to restore your faith in bloggers. So, please bear with me…
I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting and, more specifically, fatherhood since Beth and I began the adoption process. Am I ready to be a dad? Will I be a good dad? Is someone really going to entrust me with a child? I’ve thought about how we would raise Baby Burge and what ideals we want to instill in him or her.
I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting and, more specifically, fatherhood since Beth and I began the adoption process. Am I ready to be a dad? Will I be a good dad? Is someone really going to entrust me with a child? I’ve thought about how we would raise Baby Burge and what ideals we want to instill in him or her.
I recently came across some fatherly advice in Proverbs 1:
8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction; don’t neglect your mother’s teaching;
9 for they are a graceful wreath on your head, and beads for your neck.
10 My son, don’t let sinners entice you. Don’t go
11 when they say:
“Come with us.
Let’s set up a deadly ambush.
Let’s secretly wait for the innocent just for fun.
12 Let’s swallow up the living like the grave--
whole, like those who go down into the pit.
13 We’ll find all sorts of precious wealth;
we’ll fill our houses with plunder.
14 Throw in your lot with us;
we’ll share our money.”
15 My son, don’t go on the path with them; keep your feet from their way,
I thought this would be good advice for our future kids: “There is right and there definitely is wrong. Know the difference. When your friends start doing something dumb, don’t go along with them.” Speaking from personal experience, kids and teens tend to want to go along with the crowd. I’m sure none of you can relate, right? I know I made many shortsighted decisions to gain instant pleasure or to be perceived as cool or maybe just “normal.” This was usually done at the expense of negative consequences for myself, others, or both. But only kids do this stuff, right? This doesn’t apply to us wise adults. Surely we know better.
As I thought more about this advice, I had to admit to myself that these are struggles I still deal with today (at the ripe old age of 29). I don’t necessarily feel pulled to set up a deadly ambush (v. 11), but it can be pretty easy to fall into the traps all around that promise wealth, success, happiness, and/or satisfaction (v. 13-14). It’s the constant struggle between instant or delayed gratification and the easy road or the hard road. It permeates so many aspects of our daily lives!
Do I chow down on the doughnuts at work or stick with my healthier snacks?
Do I melt into the couch and get lost in Netflix or work on the honey-do list?
or (here’s the real one)
Do I clam up, stay quiet and distant or have the hard conversation with my wife about what’s going on between us?
It’s not always a question of “Am I doing something wrong?” More often than not, the problem is that I don’t actively step up and do what’s right or I just waste time. Are the things I’m working on or towards really significant? Do I invest my time, efforts, and talents in things of lasting (i.e. eternal) importance? Do I choose the hard path that will create a better outcome?
When trying to sort through the advice from Proverbs 1, it’s important to also read the verse that comes just before the passage above.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
The fear in this verse is that of respect and acknowledging power. This type of fear should drive us to act in ways that glorify and please Him. This Christian life is not guaranteed to be easy; quite the opposite actually. It is likely to be hard, uncomfortable, and even scary at times. People might even think you’re weird. But the good news is that we don’t go it alone. When it’s hard, Christ shines through our weakness and works in ways we never thought possible.
An easy life on the wide road is self-serving and empty. However, life on the hard road, which is less traveled, can and should glorify God and will ultimately be more rewarding as well. I don’t want to go along with the crowd chasing wealth and success or some false sense of happiness. I don’t want Baby Burge to be scared of hard or uncomfortable situations. I want him or her to know what’s truly important and what should drive our actions. I choose the hard road.
8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction; don’t neglect your mother’s teaching;
9 for they are a graceful wreath on your head, and beads for your neck.
10 My son, don’t let sinners entice you. Don’t go
11 when they say:
“Come with us.
Let’s set up a deadly ambush.
Let’s secretly wait for the innocent just for fun.
12 Let’s swallow up the living like the grave--
whole, like those who go down into the pit.
13 We’ll find all sorts of precious wealth;
we’ll fill our houses with plunder.
14 Throw in your lot with us;
we’ll share our money.”
15 My son, don’t go on the path with them; keep your feet from their way,
I thought this would be good advice for our future kids: “There is right and there definitely is wrong. Know the difference. When your friends start doing something dumb, don’t go along with them.” Speaking from personal experience, kids and teens tend to want to go along with the crowd. I’m sure none of you can relate, right? I know I made many shortsighted decisions to gain instant pleasure or to be perceived as cool or maybe just “normal.” This was usually done at the expense of negative consequences for myself, others, or both. But only kids do this stuff, right? This doesn’t apply to us wise adults. Surely we know better.
As I thought more about this advice, I had to admit to myself that these are struggles I still deal with today (at the ripe old age of 29). I don’t necessarily feel pulled to set up a deadly ambush (v. 11), but it can be pretty easy to fall into the traps all around that promise wealth, success, happiness, and/or satisfaction (v. 13-14). It’s the constant struggle between instant or delayed gratification and the easy road or the hard road. It permeates so many aspects of our daily lives!
Do I chow down on the doughnuts at work or stick with my healthier snacks?
Do I melt into the couch and get lost in Netflix or work on the honey-do list?
or (here’s the real one)
Do I clam up, stay quiet and distant or have the hard conversation with my wife about what’s going on between us?
It’s not always a question of “Am I doing something wrong?” More often than not, the problem is that I don’t actively step up and do what’s right or I just waste time. Are the things I’m working on or towards really significant? Do I invest my time, efforts, and talents in things of lasting (i.e. eternal) importance? Do I choose the hard path that will create a better outcome?
When trying to sort through the advice from Proverbs 1, it’s important to also read the verse that comes just before the passage above.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
The fear in this verse is that of respect and acknowledging power. This type of fear should drive us to act in ways that glorify and please Him. This Christian life is not guaranteed to be easy; quite the opposite actually. It is likely to be hard, uncomfortable, and even scary at times. People might even think you’re weird. But the good news is that we don’t go it alone. When it’s hard, Christ shines through our weakness and works in ways we never thought possible.
An easy life on the wide road is self-serving and empty. However, life on the hard road, which is less traveled, can and should glorify God and will ultimately be more rewarding as well. I don’t want to go along with the crowd chasing wealth and success or some false sense of happiness. I don’t want Baby Burge to be scared of hard or uncomfortable situations. I want him or her to know what’s truly important and what should drive our actions. I choose the hard road.
